Anywhos, so Sundays are always weird for me, it's usually the day I do a lot of thinking, usually weird thinking, I'm always in rare form on Sunday nights.
Tonight I turned on some Pandora (2010 Channel) and I went back and looked at some old pics on Facebook.....went back about 3-4 years. As I was looking at those pictures it was weird to me that as I stare at the person "Lukas Seely circa 2010/2011.....I felt like I was looking at a person that I kind of know but didnt know.
I get it....we all change with time...I'm sure Future Lukas will look back at this day and think to himself...."goodness Lukas 2014....you're an idiot!"....which totally makes sense lol....continuing......so I'm looking back at these pictures and and I'm like, "man!...who is that guy?...I barely know him...what was he doing?....who was he with?....all these things ran through my head as I looked at the pictures.....I wanted to reach back into time and shake him a little....I wanted to give him advice.....but then again...had younger Lukas not done those things he'd either be right here now and the guy I am today would not be typing this.
Do I have regrets?...of course I do, well...maybe a little, there are things I wish I could have changed or things I might have done differently but in the end......I don't believe I'd be where I am today if it weren't for that guy.
Was he a bad person? Not really...but I look at past Lukas and I laugh...I mean he had some stupid chin hair patch going on....spikey hair....his comedy had no depth and his cadence was weird....he was out of shape and overweight, eating like crap, partying about 4-5 nights a week just getting smashed and spiritually he had no direction.
Yes people...I know in time we all change...I get that....but it was just weird to me...how much I've changed since then....I look back at myself back then and then I look at where I am now....and it's almost night and day....
Then... ...I look at the blonde girl in those pics....and at first I briefly think about that relationship I'd blocked out of my head for sometime now......I look at those pics of my old girlfriend and I think to myself, "man, we use to be so in love with each other, we looked so happy, we use to talk about our future of being married and kids, where did it go wrong.." blah blah blah......then a little negativity starts to settle in......I start thinking about how much we hurt each other in the end, how painful the break-up process was, how at one point I felt like I couldn't live without her................then it hit me...like how the sunshine pierces through the clouds after a thunder storm......
she was the reason why that when I look at old pics I can't relate with those old pictures...the reason for change.....not because she told or made me change.....but because our relationship (regardless of how it ended).....she was that push I needed to make changes in my life for the better. She never asked me to change.....
Again I didn't change for her...I changed for me.....she just indirectly help me see things within myself I wanted to change. Although she is no longer involved in my life nor do we speak to each other anymore...her impact has inadvertently helped shape the Lukas most of you know today...today as in May 19th 2014 haha
The change from that guy in those old photos to the man I am now is immense, I've lost almost 60 lbs, I eat waaay healthier, my comedy has changed soooo much and is way better lol, and more importantly my spirituality and my relationship with God is better and therefore I believe has made me a better person and I have been blessed with so much....and I've definitely have cut back on the partying.
Things with me and that girl in those pics ended in 2013, even though we didn't end on the best terms, I truly find her a blessing.....I no longer carry any hate in my heart.......I'm very happy where it all has lead me......I've done so much for myself....to make sure I am happy with myself so that when I come together with my "Future Wife," I will be an almost complete person....my wife will complete the rest of me.. (BOOM! a little romance for ya)
So what is my point of all this ramblings at 1am in the morning?......we all change...its inevitable.....but if we all just took a look back and realize the journey that got us there....even if at the time it seemed like a negative.......there is a reason for everything and we should be happy....we should take the thing that we may think is negative and turn that into a positive....and thank that person who hurt ya or thank that old self for leading you to where you are now and enjoy it all....no point going on in life carrying hate....it's a waste of time....maybe this blog entry in a waste of time lol
So I say this....thank you blonde girl in those pictures!!! I wish the best for you....and mostly thank you past Lukas....you chubby crazy S.O.B!....thank you for leading us to where we are now......I promise I won't let us down...and to my Future Wife....you probably owe that blonde girl a "Thank You" card one day ;)
2010/2011 Pics
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| Look at the chubby bunny |
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| I clearly look wasted |
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| Geeze shot gunning beers Lukas? |
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| I was eating too many of these |
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| Straight from the bottle?...look at the stomach |
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| My cadence was so off beat and I had no depth |
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| This girl....apparently didn't mind that douchy chin hair thing |
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| Look into my eyes |
2014 Pics
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| No more bringing the Keg stomach to the beach anymore |
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| My jokes have gotten way better & finally has depth |
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| I started a web series based on the letters I write to My Future Wife |
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| Going to Festivals with friends & traveling more |
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| Eating better...thats steak and a Kale Salad & red wine |
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| No caption needed ;) |
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